Dear Charlotte,
You are due to arrive one month from today. In fact, last night I was filling in our December calendar and YOU WERE ON IT! That thought floors me. And, of course, you could always come a little early. So in a month or less, you will be out here in the world. I have a lot of conflicting emotions about this. Of course, I am very excited to meet you. But I'm a little terrified too. The ways in which my life is about to change probably haven't even all occured to me yet. It scares me to know that I will be responsible for you when I barely know anything about babies, it scares me to think about the ways my relationship with your daddy will change, and, I'll go ahead and admit it, it scares me to think about the pain I'm about to experience to bring you from the inside to the outside.
But, dear Charlotte, you are the product of all our dreaming and hoping and love. I know that whatever I am about to go through in the next few weeks, as well as the rest of your life, is all going to be worth it. I have to warn you, I've never done this before. Please be patient with me, little Charlotte. I'm going to have no idea what I'm doing. Sure, I've done a lot to prepare, and I know I wont be alone but I'm sure there is a lot I'm going to have to leave up to God. I'll do my best, though and we'll figure this out together.
Please come soon, Charlotte. Not TOO soon, but soon. Your daddy and I will be here waiting for you, whenever you're ready.
Love,
Mama
I was just thinking about you and Trey - You are so normal with all the feelings and emotions that you are having. I was 19 when I had Trey and no idea what to expect. I didn't do much reading or research about it either - so you are way ahead of me! I am so proud that you have chosen to have a natural birth. I pray that God will give you peace and strength during the hard contractions and Trey's voice will be able to calm and soothe you! You will do great!!! I just know it!!! And I'm looking forward to hearing all about it! Lily has given me almost two years practice as a YaYa and I'm looking forward to bonding and loving Miss. Charlotte! You are going to be a great Mama and Trey an awesome Daddy! Yes, your world will change but soon, you won't remember what it was like without your sweet baby! Also, please know I am always here for all 3 of you if you ever need a date night or a just time to sleep :)
ReplyDeleteLove you so much!
Kara