Scrambled

It's been a bit of a rough week for me. I'm not sure if I HAVE too much going on, or if I'm making too much for myself to do. Or both. Or neither.

For example: I just got done organizing my craft bookmarks (pretty sure I had like...a thousand). It took forever and it was something I felt like I needed to do. And maybe I did. Or maybe it is just something stupid that I wanted to do instead of doing something important.

But you know, on the other hand, there are just some little "stupid" things that you have to do sometimes. And crafting is a hobby for me and being organized is a need for me. So I'm gonna take this as a win.

It's just that I look at my lists and, instead of shrinking, they seem to grow. Every time I cross something off I feel like I add two more things. It's the list equivalent of taking one step forward and two steps back. And to top off the stress I get from these lists, I lie awake at night thinking about money we don't have, being homesick, and wondering when I'm ever going to see my family again (it's been over a year: unacceptable.) This whole adjustment thing for me has been harder than I thought at first. Part of the problem is it is more of an ever present and dull ache than a quick and over pain.

I've been trying to get things in order and I just feel like I'm running all over the place and not getting anything done. I feel so scrambled and my brain is becoming ADD and not allowing me to think about any one thing for a period of time.

Last week at the conference was so good, and I really want to write about that, but I cant pull my thoughts together enough to form words. I really don't handle stress well do I? No, no I don't.