Ignite Recap

***Every time I go on a retreat at my church I keep the little notebook for a while and then I end up throwing it away. I really want to keep the notes but I hate having stuff around my house that I have no idea what to do with. The other day I realized that I could post the notes on my blog! That way I always have them AND other people can possibly benefit from them too! These are from the marriage conference that we went to in February.***

"When two of you are just alike, one of you is not needed." -Joe McGee

Jimmy Evans-Session 1-God's Indestructible Plan for Marriage

Ephesians 5:21-33-Standard for marriage.
-This is God's plan, there is no plan B

1. The roles in Eph. 5 make us attractive to our spouse

• you're not the boss, Jesus is
• 1 Peter 3- chaste & respectful behavior
• Honor is the key to a man's heart
• You're either your spouses dream-maker or dream-breaker 

2. The roles in Eph. 5 release our potential

• 1 Corinthians 11:7
• Men are the glory of God, women are the glory of their husbands
• Proverbs 31- she turned a non-elder into an elder. Treat him like he is one before he is.
• A husband is a greenhouse, a wife is a good cheerleader
• celebrate everything he does right
• say negative things in a positive way

3. The roles in Eph. 5 disable our sin nature

• Eve's sin was not talking to Adam and not waiting on God
• Women's sin nature is independence
• Men's is irresponsibility
• (Adam was standing right there and didn't say anything)
• The way Jesus treats the church is the standard

4. The roles in Ephesians 5 make us sensitive to each other's needs

• Men:
• Honor (where you want him to be, not where he is)
• Sex
• Be buddies and have fun
• Supportive home
• Women:
• Security
• Soft, non-sensual affection
• Open and honest communication
• Leadership

"Without sex and fun, your marriage is a business, and a bad one."

"In a good marriage you just understand how much we need each other."

"The atmosphere women need for sex is the same as men need for opening up."

"You're at your best when you're having fun."

Jimmy Evans-Session 2-Disarming Destructive Fear-4 Features of Marriage in the Garden

1. Intimacy with God- Identity, Security, Purpose

• People love you based on what they don't know, God loves you knowing everything
• When you set your spouse up to be Jesus, you curse your marriage

2. Equal Partnership
3. Common Purpose-Genesis 1:27-28 "them"

• God wont give you different purposes
• "Why did God put us together?"

4. Total nakedness without fear or shame- Genesis 2:25, 2 Timothy 1:7

• 4 Curses of Fear
• It makes us selfish-1 John 4:18
• It makes us sinful
• It makes us say negative and damaging words- Proverbs 18:21
• It makes us stupid
• Fear dance: hurt, want, fear, react
• Fear is a prophet spirit from hell
• Fear is a Godless future

• Sources of Fear
• Desires-greatest fear matches greatest need
• Design-priority of marriage (jealousy)
• Damage from past
• Demonic spirits

• Disarm destructive fear:
• Take off your fig leaves (be honest about your fear)
• Take responsibility for your behavior
• Put faith in God
• Treat fear as an enemy and don't let it control you (expect fear and then inspect fear, and then reject it)

Jimmy Evans-Session 3-Striking Your Sexual Match

 Sex is for:
1. Reproduction
2. Comfort
3. Pleasure
4. Didn't get this one...
5. Confidence
6. Intamacy
7. Protection from outward temptation

Genesis 2:24-The key to sexual fulfillment is serving each other

3 Steps to Striking Your Sexual Match

• Strike your Spiritual Match
• Matthew 19:6- Marriage is spiritual and sacred
• Strike your Emotional Match
• Care about your spouses feelings
• work, money, children, sex
• "Just because I'm saying it doesn't make it right, it just makes it real."
• Allow each other to complain without shaming

How to create Sexual Intamacy:

• Commit to meeting your spouses needs faithfully and energetically
• 1 Corinthians 7:7-license of use
• Understand and respect your spouses different needs and desires:
• Men:
• Mutual satisfaction
• Connection
• Responsiveness of wives
• Initiation of wife
• Affirmation
• Women:
• Affirmation
• Connection
• Non-sexual touch
• Spiritual intimacy 
• Romance ("I'm thinking about you when I don't have to.")

"If one person only initiates sex, the other is suffering self esteem"

Joe McGee-Session 4

"A spouse is anointed by God to point out character flaws in your life."

"Marriage is nothing but two doofuses growing up together."

• 3 Jobs for a Man:
• Ephesians 5:25-Lover
• 1 Corinthians 11:3-Leader
• 1 Timothy 4:8-Provider
• 3 Jobs for a Woman:
• Genesis 2:18-Helper
• 1 Timothy 5:14-Home Manager

• Proverbs 29:18-Not knowing where you're going frustrates you
• Habakkuk 2:2
• If I don't move, God can't move. It's not legal.
• Psalm 139:15

• Who are you?
• What are you doing here?
• Where are you going?

• Proverbs 15:2-Just because a thought hits your brain does not mean it's from God.
• Be careful when you judge someone else, because it takes one to know one.
• The devil doesn't steal junk, he steals stuff that's good.
• You can't steer a boat that's not moving. Start moving.

1. Learn how to talk
2. Whatever you talk about is gonna need money
1. You're blessed or broke for your attitude
2. You're supposed to leave money behind
3. You are what you think
4. Order precedes increase

How to be a great lover:

1. Have the right motive
2. Didn't get this one again... (he talks fast!)
3. Avoid societies expectations
4. Eliminate routeins
5. Practice tenderness
6. Set perimaters
7. Comfort zones
8. Never criticize response
9. Practice hygene
10. It's ok to laugh

•  Boys like things, girls like people.
• Women know when you're lying.
• God is not moved by pity, He's moved by faith. He's not human.

***That's it. Sorry it's so long. :)***