A Marriage

I attended a marriage conference this past weekend at my church. It was awesome. I learned a ton of stuff and, really, just had a good time hanging out with my husband.

But all the marriage talk really got me in the "thinking about marriage" mood.

I don't really think about "marriage" that often. At least, not with that terminology. Married life, for me, has been nothing like I expected. I love it. I basically see it as getting to hang out with my best friend everyday and always having someone who's got my back. I highly recommend it.

But as I was uncharacteristically pondering marriage, I came across this thought: being married has set me free. Allow me to explore this:

I've never really been super self conscious, but I've had my insecurities just like everyone else. One thing I never expected marriage to do was set me free of my inhibitions. Let me give an example: while at this marriage conference, the guest speaker asked that any couples who felt like they were called to use their marriage to do ministry in the area of marriage, stand up. The two couples that we were sitting with stood up. Now, in the past, I probably would have stood up. Not because I'm a follower, but because I would have been thinking "Well God probably wants me to do ministry in every area so this is probably for me." But I didn't stand up. Because, as far as I am currently aware, I'm not called to that ministry. And I am totally ok with that. I know that I don't have to do it all. I've got no one to impress.

I wear what I want to wear now, without apology. I like the things that I like, without being embarassed because other people might not like them. I'm interested in the things I'm interested in, and I give up on the things I realize I'm not interested in. I pursue the dreams and goals I have, without looking around to see if my friends are doing the same thing.

I can't explain it, and I didn't realize that these things corresponded with my married life until the other day. All I can think is, having someone in my corner, someone who will (and has!) see the very best, worst and weirdest of me, and still ADORES me, has given me confidence.

I don't worry that other girls are prettier or cooler than me, because my husband doesn't want them. He wants me, and he makes sure I know it. This doesn't mean that I don't still have issues or that my life is perfect. BY ANY MEANS. It also doesn't mean that I "let myself go" because I feel so comfortable that I don't think I have to worry about what I look like. That is not the point that I'm trying to convey. Rather, having the kind of love from another person that marriage provides has made me feel safe.

Trey is my buddy, my best friend, my biggest fan, my cohort, my partner, my encourager, my shoulder. He is the first person I want to tell anything too. He makes me laugh more than anyone else. He "gets" me. He knows when I'm happy, sad, mad, lying, whatever.

I'm so happy and so blessed. I'd give you the secret if I knew it. But I don't. All I know is that aaaaaallllll this also lets me know that God loves me. Because the only way things could have worked out so well is if He orchestrated them. And I think that's what a good marriage should do: show you how much God loves you and draw you closer to Him.

All for now, sorry if this is a bit long. Just something I've been thinking about...:)

Move

Thud thud thud thud. My feet pound the blue plastic that is the track at the gym. Four steps in, four steps out. It's the breathing Trey taught me and I try to focus on it. I make my legs lift up higher. I am my own coach, but I'm a softie. I used to push myself harder, but I pushed myself right out of the desire to run.

I used to care about numbers. I used to care about my speed, and my time. Now I don't care. I don't look at the clock. I just run and enjoy it. I don't know how fast I'm going. Probably not very fast, but if I keep enjoying it, then I'll keep running, and I'll get faster on my own without even knowing it.

Someone once told me I run like a duck. I've been self conscious about it for the better part of 10 years since.

Someone else once told me I smile when I run. I try to concentrate on that instead.

I'm lapping you for the second time, I say to the pink tank top in front of me (in my head of course). I always step it up a little when I'm passing someone. I tell myself it's just to get around them, but I'd be lying if there wasn't a bit of pride involved.

I've brought my ipod, but I left it in the locker. Some people can't run without listening to something, but sometimes I prefer it. Just as I prefer driving without listening to anything most times. It's my thinking time. Besides, the ear buds always fall out of my ears, and constantly pushing them back in is not why I'm here.

It feels so good to run. It's been awhile since I've been able to enjoy it and I'm so glad that I've got the fire to run back.

As I leave the gym, the wind is blowing and the breeze is warm. I smile and run down the stairs and to my car. I guess I just didn't get enough inside :) And for the first time, in a long time, I look forward to going back.

Thankful Thursday

This Thursday I am thankful for:

the gym (help me Lord)


&

............................................ Carmex chapstick.

Tipping

Yesterday I worked a 12 hour day at the cafe. My church is hosting a mini-conference for pastors who are looking to plant churches.

And yesterday, as I came to the end of my shift, I was a little shocked by something: there was no tips in the tip jar. Not a penny, not even any pocket lint. Nothing. Now I don't really care about the money. Usually I make at least a couple dollars a day in tips, but I just see it as a blessing and I definitely don't EXPECT it.

Another fact you should probably know: all the pastors at this mini-conference got their drinks for free.

I had heard this stereotype of Christians before: servers at restaurants dread the "after church" crowd on Sunday afternoons who come around, stay all afternoon, and tip terribly. I had even heard about it happening at other events our church puts on exclusively for pastors. I guess I just didn't believe it.

I'm not writing about this to complain or to point a finger at these particular pastors. Please don't read it that way. I am writing about this because it make me think. Again, it wasn't the money that bothered me, it was the let down. I work at a very generous church and I guess I have just come to expect more from Christians, especially people who are on staff at a church.

It's sad, isn't it? That the "salt of the earth" has lost it's flavor in this way? Instead, we leave a bad taste in people's mouths when we aren't generous. Servers everywhere groan when we walk in the doors of their restaurants on a Sunday afternoon.

How can we change this perception?

Tuesday Twitterpated

Is this like "Blogger Break Week" or something? Because it's not just me who hasn't been around. A lot of the blogs I read seem to have had a conspicuous lack of posts the last few days. Anyway, I also would normally post this earlier but I'm having an off week. It's that "out of my routine" thing again.

So, without further adieu, here is some things I'm loving this week:

My water cup that I'm practically married to. Tryin' to increase my water intake!

{via}

Jeans. That might seem weird, but I've been avoiding jeans for a while and lately, I've just been into them. Literally! Lol

{via}

This amazing snitch necklace. Which I am going to make...possibly today.

{via}

Bits

I feel as if I am in a constant struggle. A struggle...to find good workout music. Anyone know what I'm talking about? Can I get some suggestions up in here?

**********************

Add this to my list of misconceptions as to what adult life would be like: I thought, as an adult, I wouldn't get my feelings hurt anymore. Was that naive? Because I still get my feelings hurt. Not often, but it happens. And when it does, it hurts more than I remembered that it could.

**********************

I had a dream the other night that I was in a mental institution. Hullo, brain, what's that about?

**********************

The End.

For This Week

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God,
and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

2 Corinthians 10:5

Thankful Thursday

This Thursday I'm thankful for:


...my mom. Who's birthday was yesterday and who has always been my BFF.

This V-day

Valentine's Day has always been "take it or leave it" for me.

This year we had quite a good one, though. On Sunday night after church (the 13th) I made Chinese Dumplings and Chocolate Molten Cake for Trey for a special Valentine's dinner. He LOVES dumplings so I secretly looked up a recipe and did my darnedest to make them special. I was so excited with the surprise of the whole thing. The cake was something I had seen in a magazine and decided to try. It came out even better than I could have hoped.

Mostly, though, I just enjoyed my time with Trey. I feel so blessed to have him in my life and I don't know what I'd do without him. I'm a lucky girl :)

Tuesday Twitterpated

I decided to start posting things I find on the internet that I find and am smitten with. I hope you find them as enduring/funny/lovely/ect. as I do. Enjoy!

This awesome website.

And this:
...pin in particular (which I now own). And really, cute, happy octopuses in general.

Animal Chocolat by Goncharoff
Which don't actually look appealing to me but they're just SO DARN CUTE!

This neat collage that I actually first saw at Little Chief Honeybee

Liz Lemon Pendent on Etsy.
Because anything with Tina Fey on it pretty gets my awesome vote. {Thanks Kaitlin!}

This song from Moulin Rouge...
...that I cannot. stop. listening. to.

Won't You Be...My Neighbor...?

{via}

Can I make a confession? Sometimes I have a really hard time loving my neighbor. Does that sound as aweful to you as it does to me?

I remember, as a kid in Sunday school, being so caught up on who my neighbor was. Was it literally the people who lived next to me? Was it my family? Was it my friends? Was it people I already like? Beacuse it couldn't be, surely it wasn't, EVERYONE. Right? Right?! Because how am I supposed to love EVERYONE?

And sometimes I still feel that way. I think things like, "Of course I wouldn't wish actual bad things on that person." And "I love them with the love of Christ." But do I really? Because, I must say, there are some people who put an automatic frown on my face the minute I see them. I still don't wish bad things on them, and I don't hate them or anything, I just wish they were anywhere but near me.

I would love to say that I love everyone as I should. I would love to say that I always treat people like they are valuable. I would love to say that I smile at everyone. But the truth is that I don't always do those things. Can I make New Year's Resolutions in the middle of February? Let's call it a Valentine's resolution: I want to be a more loving person. I want to be sweet. I want people to feel valued by me.

Ready? Go! Smiles ON!

Happy Valentines Day!

{via}

Thankful Thursday

This Thursday I'm thankful for:

Dayquil/nyquil

&&&&

our friends Ron and Jenny....

...who really encouraged me this weekend and who will play kinect with me in the middle of the night:)

Reunite

O my! What a weekend!

I'm sorry I've been absent for a few days. Sometimes, when I get out of my routine, I get flustered and then it takes me a few days to get straightened out again and resume my regular habits (i.e. blogging). (Does that make me sound like a child or what? Haha.)

Anyway, the reason my routine was interrupted was because of the 24/7 Reunion that took place this weekend!

If you don't know, I did two years of 24/7 back in 06-07 and 07-08. If you don't know anything about the program, click on the link above and you can learn all about it! Also, I'm gonna be honest and say I just really don't feel like going into it ;) They do a good job of explaining.

Anyway, it was really good to see everyone and, I must say, I had a BLAST. Even came away from the weekend with a scratchy vioce from all the talking and laughing. Can't remember the last time that happened.

Anyway, that's where I was. Here are some pics. Enjoy!

Us with Pastor Layne-the 24/7 director and someone really important to us (fun fact: he married us!)

Trey with his team (mostly): Imago Dei

Pastor Layne, me and some of the girls from my second year

Just some more second year peeps

Some people who showed up for ultimate frisbee in the morning

I Promise...

...I'm working on a blog! I've been a bit busy and also under the weather but I've got a lot of things I'm excited about and I'm sorry I've been absent!

I hope to have a blog up tomorrow!

Love,
Lauren

Thankful Thursday

This Thursday I'm Thankful for:

Trey's new job

&


........................................the couch