A Marriage

I attended a marriage conference this past weekend at my church. It was awesome. I learned a ton of stuff and, really, just had a good time hanging out with my husband.

But all the marriage talk really got me in the "thinking about marriage" mood.

I don't really think about "marriage" that often. At least, not with that terminology. Married life, for me, has been nothing like I expected. I love it. I basically see it as getting to hang out with my best friend everyday and always having someone who's got my back. I highly recommend it.

But as I was uncharacteristically pondering marriage, I came across this thought: being married has set me free. Allow me to explore this:

I've never really been super self conscious, but I've had my insecurities just like everyone else. One thing I never expected marriage to do was set me free of my inhibitions. Let me give an example: while at this marriage conference, the guest speaker asked that any couples who felt like they were called to use their marriage to do ministry in the area of marriage, stand up. The two couples that we were sitting with stood up. Now, in the past, I probably would have stood up. Not because I'm a follower, but because I would have been thinking "Well God probably wants me to do ministry in every area so this is probably for me." But I didn't stand up. Because, as far as I am currently aware, I'm not called to that ministry. And I am totally ok with that. I know that I don't have to do it all. I've got no one to impress.

I wear what I want to wear now, without apology. I like the things that I like, without being embarassed because other people might not like them. I'm interested in the things I'm interested in, and I give up on the things I realize I'm not interested in. I pursue the dreams and goals I have, without looking around to see if my friends are doing the same thing.

I can't explain it, and I didn't realize that these things corresponded with my married life until the other day. All I can think is, having someone in my corner, someone who will (and has!) see the very best, worst and weirdest of me, and still ADORES me, has given me confidence.

I don't worry that other girls are prettier or cooler than me, because my husband doesn't want them. He wants me, and he makes sure I know it. This doesn't mean that I don't still have issues or that my life is perfect. BY ANY MEANS. It also doesn't mean that I "let myself go" because I feel so comfortable that I don't think I have to worry about what I look like. That is not the point that I'm trying to convey. Rather, having the kind of love from another person that marriage provides has made me feel safe.

Trey is my buddy, my best friend, my biggest fan, my cohort, my partner, my encourager, my shoulder. He is the first person I want to tell anything too. He makes me laugh more than anyone else. He "gets" me. He knows when I'm happy, sad, mad, lying, whatever.

I'm so happy and so blessed. I'd give you the secret if I knew it. But I don't. All I know is that aaaaaallllll this also lets me know that God loves me. Because the only way things could have worked out so well is if He orchestrated them. And I think that's what a good marriage should do: show you how much God loves you and draw you closer to Him.

All for now, sorry if this is a bit long. Just something I've been thinking about...:)