So I didn't exactly start off the new year with the "bang" I could have hoped for. In fact, my New Year's day was spent cleaning the house and doing crafts until Trey got home from work. After that we did go go a movie but it was, still, nothing special. Nothing out of the ordinary. The rest of the weekend was spent much the same. Trey had to work both Saturday and Sunday so I spent a lot of time alone. Already we have hit road blocks, and situations didn't magically change just because the calendar rolled over to January. It has been so hard for me to truely learn that life is hard. I still fight against it, clinging to the hope that life isn't really hard, it's actually fun! a breeze! And I know that's a lie but I can't seem to let it go. So I am disappointed again and again when life does what it does and is hard as ever.
I had been so looking forward to 2010 that, when it actually hit, I felt like I did on the morning of my 5th birthday when I "didn't feel any different."
I got to thinking about all the goals I had set for myself for 2010: all the things I want to do, all the things I want to become...And I had to accept that these things are going to come slowly. I am not going to change overnight. The goals are going to have to be tweaked and even totally changed. It's a hard thing for me to accept since I've always been a kind of "cold turkey" girl.
So here's to small changes. I still think this year is going to be a great year.
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