Knitting for stress

I'm knitting. Yes that's right: knitting. And loving it. It's relaxing for me, but I also think it might be making me go cross-eyed. Well, that and starting at the computer. For a while I thought I might need glasses because my eyes weren't focusing and I was getting headaches. Now I think it has more to do with this devil that is the computer than my eyes.

Are the holidays supposed to be stressful? I mean, pretty much everyone seems to get stressed around the holidays. Which I think is ironic because aren't the holidays supposed to be a time when you relax and become less stressed? It is pretty sad how the purpose of the holidays has been so grossly distorted. What used to be a time of giving thanks and celebrating the birth that brought us life, has become a wild, greedy gorge fest. And I'm not pointing fingers because I have definitely done my fair share of wild and greedy gorge festing. Maybe that is why I just can't seem to get into the holidays this year. It's not that I don't love the decorations and the festive-ness of the season...it's just that the thought of the holidays makes me tired. And I don't even have to do anything! I can't imagine if I had to buy presents for a pack of childern as well as possibly hosting relatives or (gasp) preparing a feast! Ah, yet more evidence that I am obviously not ready for children.

I know I wrote in the fall that fall was like my New Year. And that is true, I DO like to make personal changes in the fall. But the new year is my New Year too. I guess I like to double up. So now, is this year fades, I have been thinking of the dawning of the New Year coming up. There are so many things I want for this year! I'm not into making resolutions because I see "New Year's Resolutions" as an interchangable heading for "Impossible Standards Resulting in Failure." So I don't make resolutions but I do try and make changes. And I'm sure this year is going to be no different.

I just think 2010 is going to be great. I hope it brings solidity to our lives and security for the future. I hope it brings new friends and new family members. I hope it brings happiness and FUN. It's funny, when you're young you sort of have the idea that life just happens, and it does, but life also takes work. A lot of work. This past year has been a lot of learning in that area for me. So now I'm hoping that my new-found knowledge will help me make this year better. Now that I have accepted the fact that I have to work (hard!) for the things I want, maybe it wont be such a suprise when life shows up ready to work.

A lot of my life right now is down time. And when I have down time I think. And right now I'm thinking about the future: what I want for me and what I want for us. So well see how it pans out. It is going to be amazing, in a year, to look back and see how far I've come. I can't wait!