My new years

Today was the perfect day. I stepped outside to a beautiful sky and air that was just barely warm enough to not wear a jacket.

It was more like September in Colorado than September in Alabama. The whole scene outside brought me forcibly back to my childhood bus-riding days. I knew smells could do that but I didn't know perfect days could. It brought back the old excitement I used to get right before the first day of school. I LOVED the first day of school. I loved picking out my school supplies and backpack. I agonized over my outfit and always layed it out the night before my first day, down to the underwear.

Most people think of new beginnings as being in January or even in the spring. For me it's always been fall. I have set more "New Years resolutions" in the fall than I ever have in January. I don't know if it was the beginning of a new school year, or my birthday or what but fall has always been my "beginning."

Now that I'm not in school anymore it does feel a little different. As this fall approached I kept getting excited, waiting for something new to happen in my life, waiting for a new leaf. Only when school had started for everyone else did I remember that I didn't have anything new to start. Maybe that's why I've been so restless lately. This is the first fall since I was a toddler that I didn't start something new, whether that be school or another year in an internship or college. And it's throwing me off. I feel like I should be moving, or changing jobs, or enrolling in some kind of class or SOMETHING. I guess this year I'll have to start something on my own. Maybe I'll take up dancing or get back into some serious running. Or maybe I'll find a job that I love.

I wish I could capture what it felt like this morning when I walked out to my car. It felt fresh. It felt new. It felt like waiting for the bus on the first day of school.