I have decided to start training to be a ninja. Or possibly a vampire slayer. I feel like if I can get some kind of goal in mind it will help me stay focused and push myself harder. I should probably come up with some sort of mantra to repeat in my head while I'm training. Something like "Die, Vampire, die" would probably work. Or maybe, "Ninja warrior, Attack!." I don't know.
Also, I'm thinking I should start searching for a trainer. After doing some extensive research (watching lots of TV), I think I'v got it figured out. I'm either going to need an old chinese man or a librarian, preferably one with an accent. They seem more exotic and, uh, dangerous? I'm also hoping that I am some sort of "chosen one" so that they will want to train me for free because I don't really have the money to pay a trainer. Also, they would have to be avaliable to me 24/7 in case I needed them for a midnight training session before a battle and I'm pretty sure that costs extra. I AM adopted so I might have a chance of fudging my origins a bit and that could help me toward the "chosen one" end.
In addition to all this I'm probably going to have to come up with some enemies to help with the motivation thing. Obviously if I'm not going to actually have to fight anyone I probably wont be as desperate to get in shape. I would be all like, "Eh it's not like I'm in a hurry to get in shape because there will be no one for me to fight when I am, so lets watch some more TV and can you pass those Cheeze-its?" It also might be hard to convince a trainer that I am the chosen one if there is no one I was "chosen" to fight. Who do ninjas fight? Pirates? I think it's pirates. So pirates will probably be easier for me to produce than vampires. Mostly because I'm pretty sure that vampires don't exist. And if they do, well vampires are pretty popular right now so I'm not sure me fighting them would go over so well. All the Twilight fans would probably go after me if I tried to stab Robert Patterson with a stake and I'm not really up for a mob of screaming teenagers right now. Or screaming women. The Twilight fanbase sort of spread to all women after reaching its origional intended audience of (I assume) teens and pre-teens. So ya...screeming women and their teenage daughters. No thanks.
The more I think about this the more it sounds like a great idea that involves way too work on my end. In other words: totally bad idea. Looks like its back to the drawing board on this workout thing.
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