#79--Learn to Crochet

Sorry it's been so long. First of all I'd like to say: we're headin' to North Carolina again! Well be leaving the week after next so please keep us in your prayers again.

And now...Trey got me a book for Valentines day to crochet cute little animals. So of course I had to tackle item # 79 so I could start making some. And...I've still got progress to make but here is what I've got so far:
Trey wanted the hedgehog. It came out WAY bigger than I planned so I might try again...


Then I made a Moxie. I actually understood the concept enough this time to modify the pattern--like, a lot--so really I take full credit for this. Haha. I'm pretty proud of here even if she does look a little wonky. And that purse is my very favorite purse ever by the way. I love it. That little tidbit was free.


Moxie just *loves* her look-a-like. Can't you tell?

Insomnia

Last night I couldn't sleep. I don't know if it was the soy chai I had at work or what but I just couldn't sleep, even though I was exhausted from my long day of work.

So I was laying in bed trying not to wake Trey and, as I often do, I started a list on my phone:

I am:

A lover
A fighter
The "cute" one
Funny
A thinker
A planner
A daydreamer
Sentimental
A minimalist
Organized
A lover of lists
A poet
Easily adaptable
Always changing
A cat owner
A Christian
Adopted
A wife (!)
A daughter
A blogger
A wannabe foodie
A creator
A child
A woman
A sister
A worrier
Responsible
Concerned with health and fitness
Soft clay
Willing to change
An ex-emotional girl
Frugal

And so many other things, but in the interest of me doing something but try to think of things I am all day, just the list I wrote last night will suffice.

Coincidentally, today in the book I'm reading, it was talking about us, as women, trying to find our identity amidst all the hats we sometimes wear. And I'm like, "Self, was I identity-searching last night?" We may never know.

Anyway, that's my tidbit for the day.

Bathroom

I am exhausted. I think I'm still recovering from our trip, but I also took on an internet project that is really taking it out of me. More on that when I finish it...like in a year. Just kidding, it will be sooner than that, haha.

Anyway, I just wanted to stop by and say that this:

Cant remember where I found this...

is the most fabulous bathroom I have ever seen. I want.

Not a-poem-a-day February

Obviously this has NOT been poem-a-day February. I had started out well but crumbled when our days got so hectic all I wanted to do in my (limited) free-time was sleep.

We just got back (and I mean JUST) from a week long trip to North Carolina this morning. In fact, Trey dropped me off at work on our way back home and I've been here since. So I haven't even been home yet.

It was a long week but a good one. We had traveled up there to meet with some people at a church in Raleigh and it was just totally a God week. Even if nothing comes of it I think it was just totally orchestrated by God to speak some things into our life. I definitely had a good time but I can hear my bed calling me from here. We drove six hours to Atlanta last night, arrived there at one a.m. and then got up at 5:30 and drove the rest of the way here. So ya, long night. I believe Trey is at home taking a nap right now and I am totally jealous. If you're looking for me after 5 tonight I will be dead to the world. Sorry.

I can't wait to share more about what God is doing in our life right now but I think it must wait a little longer. I learned my lesson before in counting my eggs before they have hatched and I don't plan on doing that now.

To all our friends and family who know our situation and have been praying for us: thank you! We have really been trusting God and trying not to take any steps before He gives the go ahead so we'll see what He says!

Love,
Lauren

February Poem, Day 2

I cannot go to school today
I cannot go to school.
My teachers are all mad at me,
I've broken all the rules.

I've broken all the sticks of chalk,
I wrote on all the desks.
I pulled all of the girls hair,
And all the cubbies, wrecked.

I didn't come in from recess time,
I started a food fight at lunch.
I hid under my desk in math,
Gave the bunny pencils to munch.

I put a frog in the teacher's desk,
I fed my homework to the dog.
I led the class in a silly song,
And ran from the principle at a jog.

So I cannot go to school today
There is a problem, you see?
'Cuz I wreaked havoc on everyone else,
Today they'll wanna wreak havoc on me!

Twitter

I'm staring to think I should have stuck with Twitter. I stopped using it a couple of months ago and haven't had the heart to pick it back up. BUT, the past few days I've had a lot of little blurbs that I have wanted to release into the world somewhere, somehow. Changing my Facebook status every time a new thought pops into my head doesn't seem polite and, like I said, I just don't want to go back to Twitter! I don't know why. Maybe I should. I probably should. O sheesh, I probably should. Anyway, until such a time as I rejoin the masses in their 140 character bursts of word vomit (or spouts of wisdom. Who are YOU following?), here are my thoughts for today:

What is it with people and cups of ice?

I think I like soy chai.

Yes I'm a fan of the soy chai.

Thank God for soy chai or this "no milk" thing would be hard in the cafe.

*Can you tell I'm at the cafe?*

All-staff meetings scare me.

I am FA-REAKING out about this interview.

What should I wear?!

What if I forget to pack something?

My ear is plugged again.

But my booty still hurts from that shot at the dr so I don't wanna go back. I DON'T WAAAANNNA!

Oooo...just found out staff meeting means I get free lunch.

Suddenly I'm n0t so scared of the staff meeting.

I spilled coffee EVERYWHERE. Shouldn't have left the spigot open while brewing a new pot. Gah!

I wonder when Trey will be here?

First years make me smile.

There are just too many good blogs out there.

Will my blog every be a good blog?

I really need to come up with some better material.

Because this? This is lame.

And yet? I feel then need to post several times a day lately.

Like I have something to SAY.

Bwahahahaha.

I hope I make it through Poem-a-Day February.

I hope I make it through this interview process.

I hope I don't choke.

I hope it still works out that I can get pregnant this year.

Wiggidy-wack is like the best word ever.

Yes, we are now at that place.

I am glad I talked to Shelia today.

I am glad I don't work there anymore.

I have got to work on my wardrobe.

I seriously love to people watch.

If Trey doesn't get paid today, well %(*@&W&(81 GAH!

O gosh! I just remembered I actually have some stuff I need to work on! Oops.

I wonder if I'll have time to work out tonight?

Because last night was awesome.

AWEsome.

It is not fair that baby clothes are so cute.

Or that every time I turn around someone is either pregnant or carrying a baby.

I'm not really an "other people's babies"-person but I can't wait to have my own.

Is that normal?

I love that I can feel my hair on the back of my arms now.

Almost to my goal!

Ok that's enough.

I need to stop now.

Stooooppp tyyypiiinnnggg.

Dooo soooommmeethhhinnngg prooodduuucttiiivvvee...

Seriously stop.

Stop.

Dangit fingers! I said stop.

STOP!


Wow that was slightly retarded and highly unnecessary. I'm going to go rejoin the real world now. And by that I mean that I am going to...ummm...type something else. And I just realized the last three sentences could have been typed just like the ones above: standing alone. And now I'm wondering if all sentences should just be written as stand alone, Twitter-esque, sentenses from now on. And while I was wondering that my brain imploded and now all I can do is sit here glassy-eyed. I'm sorry.

I'm going to sign of now.

Now.

Milk

I have a milk allergy.

I'm not lactose intolerant, I just have what they call a "milk sensitivity." And it seems to keep getting more "sensitive" with each passing year. See, I can drink milk and such but it can make me feel sick, or just gross or random other negative things like that. So this year I decided to try and stay away from milk, not avoid it entirely, but just try to choose more non-milk options.

The biggest problem I've come across so far is working in the cafe. Most of our drinks (actually, make that all the ones I love) are made with milk. So that has been hard to give up. We have soy but let me tell you, it changes the taste of the whole drink. And I don't love it. There, I said it. So...the only thing I have been drinking the past few days is soy chai. I love chai and it is strong enough to totally hide the taste of the soy. Actually, I barely put any soy in there at all--just enough to cut the spice of the chai. And it's been going well. I hope I don't get sick of it because then I'm going to have to be creative.

I just really feel like the negative effects milk was having on me were getting to be a little much. So, bye for now milk! I'm hoping that I'll see big improvements on the way I feel.

Oh and btw, I'm only 5 pounds from the lowest weight I ever was: pre-wedding haha. So I'm hoping that contunues to drop off lol.

Chao.

February Poem, Day 1

It is February! I can't believe it. January sure went by fast, which is interesting, because usually my Januaries (how DO you pluralize January?) seem to crawl. One of the goals I made for myself for February is to write a poem a day. That idea came off of my life-list-desire to write a book of poems. I thought it would be fun to write a poem every day for a month and then make it into a little book for our coffee table. Yes, I chose February because it is the shortest month haha. I may not post them all because of hectic scheduling this month but I'll try and post some. They should be pretty varied since I love different kinds of poems. I wrote this one today after I heard a bird singing on my way into work. It's a haiku. Enjoy:

I heard a bird's song
I thought to myself, "Spring time?"
My cold hands said no.

Fast Over. Alternate title: #43: Try being a vegitarian

I am a two post-a-day-er! Consider this partial make-up for my frequent bouts of disappearance. I may have mentioned before that our church has a 21 day fast. Well, it ended on January 30th. By the way, I love that it ended right at the end of the month. It warms my organized heart.

The fast was very different for me this year. The first two times I did it were when I was in 24/7 and (admittedly) I didn't do it last year when I was in Utah. The only explanation I can think for it feeling so different this year is because it is the first time I have chosen to do it on my own. Anyway, the fast was awesome. I have always enjoyed it in the past and this year was no exception. We had some awesome things happen and I just feel so content and so at peace right now. In fact, it has been so weird coming off the fast. Food hasn't been appealing to me the way it usually does. Another thing I decided to fast was secular music and I have yet to change the radio since the fast has been over. It just feels weird.

The reason for the alternate title is because, instead of doing a full fast, I did a Daniel fast. For those who don't know, a Daniel fast is (basically) fruits, vegetables, nuts and seeds. So that's what I've been eating for the past three weeks. Honestly, it was not too terribly different from what I normally eat since I eat so much fruit and vegetables. I'm thinkin I might have to go on a full fast next year but I'm kind of hoping that I wont be allowed to fast, if you know what I mean... From what I understand you can also eat whole grains but I just skipped bread all together. I guess what I did was more "vegan" than "vegetarian" since I wan't eating any animal products but, eh. So I'm checking that off my list. I'm almost pretty sure that I could make it as a vegetarian. I do love me some meat, but it wasn't so bad. I might have to try it for a longer period of time sometime. I heard that if you go long enough without meat your body can't handle meat anymore so I'm kind of scared to do that.

Anyway, #43 check. Let's move on to the next thing.

#42--Knit something besides a blanket or scarf

I've been waiting to post this till after my SIL's shower. It was yesterday so here you go! On a related note, baby girl stuff is TOO cute. I've got baby fever, bad, I'm still working on the hubs so well see...




I knitted a hat for my little niece! Actually, when my sister in law saw the scarf I knitted for my mom she said I should knit one for my little niece for when she's born! So I knitted the tiny little scarf and then learned how to make little, super easy, flowers. Then I decided to knit the little hat. Let me tell you...they say it is "easy" "for beginners..." I say BAH! That little hat was SO HARD to knit! I went through two sets of needles (you need round needles for knitting things like hats and socks). It was hard, but I am super proud of it. So there it is...my first thing to cross off my life list! Yay!And there is Trey wearing the hat. Lovely.

Thursday

Wow I just wrote a whole post and the EVIL internet disappeared it! Sigh, I don't have much to say. My mind is elsewhere with all the things coming up in our lives. I promise to explain more about that soon...

But first up, my sister-in-law's baby shower is on Saturday so I'm headed to Atlanta. I can't believe my little niece Lily is almost here! It has seemed to go by so fast! Course, I'm not sure it has for my SIL but since I only see her every once in a while, it has seemed to go by so quickly! Crazy.

Other than that, I've been continuing to love life. I can't believe how much more relaxed I am now that I'm out of that job. Every time I start to freak out about not working full time, I think "Would I rather be back there?" And all I can come up with is, "Thank you JESUS! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!" I am so happy to be out I can't even say. I venture to say that losing my job was the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. It was an unhealthy place to be and just judging by how much better I feel, I think getting out of there was long overdue.

Anyway, au revoir.

Yes, the french is coming right along. Oh, how I love goals.

The Wheezing Sow

Last Thursday I decided to run. I had been going to the gym a few times but only doing the bike or elliptical. (I say "only" because I have a thing about working out that I feel like only running is working out. I am a running snob. Not because there is anything wrong with the bike or elliptical, just my brain.)

I hadn't run in...a long time...and I THOUGHT I MIGHT DIE. I mean, I was seriously out of shape and my body reminded me of that for the next two days.

Today I tried running again and, while I am still NOT in shape, I was surprised at how much easier it seemed. And that convinced me to try running again, and again, 'till I bring sexy back.

Love.

Oh, and if you're wondering about the title of this post, I'm pretty sure that's what they gym staff though I was after I ran. Yes yes.

Thoughts

My pants fit amazing today. You know that feeling when your pants just fit perfectly and, ah, it's just so wonderful.

Things are going fabulous right now. I'm feeling fabulous. Life is fabulous. Yes, the not-having-a-job-money-issue still gets on my nerves but I'm getting better and better everyday at banishing my worry and giving it back to God.

Yesterday I was thinking a thought as I drove to work. I was thinking about people and rich people and poor people and powerful people and regular people. And my thought was: all these people are in God's hand. It's not something new, it's just one of those concepts that hit me in the way that they sometimes do.

I sometimes struggle with insecurities, I think everyone does. Sometimes I just feel so small and powerless. I get afraid of what people might think of me or I feel like I'm trapped because I don't have as much authority as others. I get in my head that I will never change, never be able to be anything because I don't have the power or the money or the talent or WHATEVER. And then yesterday I realized, I am just a person same as EVERYBODY else. These barriers and distinctions that we put up to separate classes of people are man made. I have no reason to walk with my head down. I have POTENTIAL. I can walk up to anyone and know that we are the same.

It's not that big of a revelation and I can't accurately translate it in to words. But it made a difference to me. It didn't mean my insecurities are totally gone. I think things like that take time. But it was a good little nugget for me to file away.

O! My Booty!

I finally went to the doctor today. And I ended up having to get 2 shots (in the BEHIND!), a prescription for antibiotics, some nasal spray and some other pills that I have no idea what they're for. Sheesh. Guess I was a bit sick, huh? The doctor said that my ears were really bad but I'm really just hoping that all these meds clear everything up.

I didn't do much else today besides run around doing errands. Pretty typical, butt shots day.

Envelope

So, I'm sitting in the cafe at church. And I couldn't be happier. I had wanted to quit my job and come work here for months but I just never felt like I could. Trey has been working (very) part-time at the cafe for a little bit and when I lost my job he offered to let me work (at least some of) his shifts.

Since the church is in the middle of the fast right now there is not much to do. But hey, I'm used to not having much to do, right? But this is better. It's better because there are things I can do (cleaning) if I want and I can busy myself with various activities without being stressed out. Very nice.

--side note: I think I may be coming down with something as my ears are all plugged again and my throat is killing me. Have I become a sickly person? These are the questions that plague--

Anyway, I've recently discovered a new obsession: cute envelopes. I have some gifts to send out (more on that after I actually give them) and I had been looking online for cute, homemade envelopes I could make to put them in. The long and short of it is: I stumbled across this tutorial for making cute little envelopes out of magazine pages. I'm in love.

My junior and senior year of high school I had a, shall we say, *problem* with magazines. Okay, I was addicted. I bought every magazine. Part of it was me just wanting to read them and part of it was that one of the things I find relaxing is to cut pages out of magazines. I rarely used them for collages or anything else constructive, I just like to cut things out. Whatever....

So, once I realized I had this magazine problem (oh, about the same time I was running out of storage space beneath my bed). I quit buying magazines right then and there. Well...my grandma, for some odd reason, has subscriptions to several fashion magazines. And she, knowing I like magazines, saves them for me and I get them when I go to see her or my mom sends them to me. So I had this stack of magazines that I didn't know what to do with when I discovered this envelope thing. Bingo! Guess what I've been doing the past few days? That's right--folding dozens of tiny envelopes. I don't know what I'm going to do with them yet other than mail some, use some in my journal ect. I'm thinking of opening a shop on Etsy but well see...#53 is a-itchin to be done. I would just like to get some more things to sell before I make that step...

In other news, I am working on some other life list things. Since I am participating in the church fast I decided that I wasn't going to be reading any of the things I normally read (ie fiction, NOVELS) and, instead, would tackle Evidence that Demands a Verdict (#72). I've had it since high school, when I first got interested in apologetics. Since then, I've tried to get through it, but it's no party. Usually I would find my mind wandering as my eyes roved over the words and I'm pretty sure I never made it past the intro. Enter #72, and the fast, and I decided to try again. I am still not past the intro yet but I am making sure I am paying attention and I'm taking notes. I say I'm off to a good start.

Another thing I have started: #30--Become conversational in a foreign language. I went to the library and picked up some CDs for learning French. Actually, I am listening to lesson 2 as I type this. (Ya I'm not getting much out of it but maybe my brain is absorbing it. Haha.) I am pretty proud of myself as far as lesson 1 goes so well see how this works out. While at the library I also picked up some yoga DVDs in an attempt to start #27 but that is not exactly going stellar. Honestly, I just find yoga kind of boring. I'm thinking of taking it off the list but I want to give it the old college try first. More on that later.

All for now--out.

Crafty Afternoon

Today I had planned on cleaning the house and doing various other house-worky things. To be fair, I did start doing housework. Actually, the housework is what made me realize that I needed to get these other things done!

First of all, as I was cleaning off the table (aka my craft center for now) I noticed the sheets of wax paper I had left lying around that needed to be made into Martha Stewart's heart project. So I cut those out and put them together:



They didn't really give a good idea for putting the hearts up on Martha's site so I rigged this ribbon doodad. I taped all the threads down and then doubled over the ribbon and sewed it: it helped keep the hearts in their places and made for a slightly sturdy little arm. Not exactly sure where I planned to go from there so I just ended up taping the ribbon to the window. Whatever.

I'm no Martha but I think they turned out pretty well. Next time I'm going to use colors that have greater difference and LESS SHAVINGS.

Next, while I was putting away the dishes from the dishwasher, I was annoyed (as usual) by all the lids to our plastic containers being loose in the cupboard. So I decided to make a little pouch for them. Tada!


All I used was half an old pillow sham and some cardboard to make the back stay stiff instead of flopping all over the place. It was a bit of trial and error but I'm happy with it and it fits nicely on the inside of the door. No more lids falling all over the place!


I used the other half of the sham to make a pouch for all our plastic bags--another source of annoyance for me. We just have too many! They are great for things like kitty litter but I didn't have a good place to store them. So I made this super easy little pouch. And an awful lot of bags fit in it too! They take up much less space now haha.


And there is my little helper, sleeping the day away.


Since I'm all into re-purposing things now I feel like going and making my scrubs from my old job into a quilt. Haha. Now back to the housework...

Prayer

I don't know if I've mentioned anything about it on this blog before but Trey and I are looking for some big changes in our lives this year. Probably the biggest change we are looking at is Trey's job situation. Well, and now my job situation...obviously.

The changes we are most looking at are going to be HUGE. Like, biggest-thing-since-moving-out-and-getting-married huge. And I am scared half to death. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited, but sometimes my excitement gets overpowered by this overwhelming fear. I am constantly giving it back to God. Like, all day long. I count it as a plus that I keep giving it back to God but the struggle does get a little tiring.

You know, I think more people are called to do great things than are actually doing great things. And I can see why. It is terrifying to think of starting something from scratch--to think of changing my entire life and leaving behind everything that is familiar to start something totally new? Well, that's a bit unnerving. But you know what else? We went in to this fast seeking God and his will for our lives. And sometimes God surprises you with what his will is.

I don't want to post just yet what it is we are moving towards. Of course, if it happens, I will post. Our closest friends and our family obviously know what is going on and they are praying for us which is a huge blessing. But, if anyone reads this, would you pray for us to? Just that we know, with certainty, what God wants. We could have it totally wrong. Maybe things aren't supposed to change as much as we think, but we want to do what HE wants, whatever that means.

I'm sorry this is so vague. More to come.

From Trey

Trey likes to make up little songs. He does it all the time and just randomly sings them. I love it. I wish I would think to write them down, or record them, or something. Here is one he sang to me in bed this morning. I think there was more to it but this is all I got.

This is my love song
To you, my Lauren.
Till daybreak is your,
Friend and lover,
I don't know why I,
Can't get up now.
Please don't take,
My day,
Away.

For the love of finding forgotten things

I was puttering around old files on my computer today and found this poem I had written ages ago. Doesn't you own writing look better to you when you've forgotten about it? It does for me. I love reading over old stuff I've written, especially if I stumble across something I wrote down and then, presently, forgot about.

Enjoy:

Stolen moments.

Stolen kisses

Now like raindrops dripping off the window of my life.

Leaving behind streaks barely enough to remind me

Barely enough to taste the kisses

Left over from foggy nights

Bittersweet.

How can it be, but bittersweet?

It will never be able to be full,

Complete.

Never can I be perfectly happy with those stolen moments

The perfection of his arms around me,

His fingers on my skin.

Never will they be enough to overcome the feeling of injustice

Never will they set the confusion straight.

Today

Yesterday I didn't do much. I'm not depressed, I just didn't know what to do.

Today I got up, I worked out and I showered. I've got things to do but first I edited my resume and printed it off. Looks like I might be needing it soon.

While looking at my resume I got to thinking about school again. And going back. And you know what? I know like literally nothing about college. I just don't get it. And it seems to be impossible to get the information I need off the internet. All I know is that I did a year, I took some classes and I have about 45 credits. And after that I have no idea what to do. I know I should probably go in and talk to someone. The problem is that I have to get my transcripts and WHY IS EVERYTHING SO COMPLICATED?! I do NOT get college.

So...how's your Wednesday?